When the truth came out, my world didn’t just shatter — I did.
In the days and weeks after discovering the betrayal, I kept finding myself staring into mirrors, scrolling through old photos, or just sitting in silence asking one question I couldn’t answer:
Who even am I anymore?
For 13 years, I was someone’s wife. I was the dependable partner. The planner. The forgiver. The fixer. Then I became a mother, which only deepened that role — giving more, sacrificing more, becoming more of what everyone else needed.
And somewhere along the way, I forgot about me.
The Identity Crisis No One Warns You About:
Infidelity doesn’t just break your heart. It fractures your sense of self.
You question everything — not just them, but you.
Was I not enough?
Did I miss something?
Have I changed too much?
Did motherhood make me invisible?
It’s an internal war — grieving the relationship, protecting your child, and trying to piece yourself back together with shaky hands.
Finding Myself Again (And Creating Someone New)
Rebuilding my identity hasn’t been about “going back to who I was.”
Truthfully, I’m not sure I want to be her again.
The version of me I’m creating now… she’s stronger.
She has boundaries. She knows what her body is telling her when something feels off.
She’s learning to love herself again — slowly, fiercely, awkwardly at times — but she’s doing it.
What’s Helped Me So Far
- Journaling the raw, unfiltered thoughts I was too ashamed to say out loud.
- Wearing what makes me feel good, not what I think I should wear.
- Spending time alone — not lonely, but intentionally alone — to hear myself.
- Therapy, which has helped me separate my worth from someone else’s betrayal.
- Letting go of the pressure to “bounce back.” I’m not bouncing, I’m rising — and that takes time.
To the Woman Reading This
If you’re asking yourself, “Who am I now?” — know that it’s okay not to know.
Maybe you’re not her yet.
Maybe you’re still hurting, still numb, still unsure.
But I promise, underneath all the pain, there’s a woman waiting to be reintroduced to herself — and she is more powerful, more radiant, and more real than ever before.
You are not lost.
You are becoming.
Lets rise together,
Sarah xx
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